As promised, here is our update:
La Cleaning Lady came yesterday and welcomed me by fussing about the laundry on the ground (yes, we know, but we keep forgetting to buy the clothespins, and there AREN'T ANY HERE. That was how she greeted me. She reiterated that she'd never seen this, despite the English family with 3 kids who supposedly lived here last winter. Despite Vinca's assertion that no one has stayed here for more than a week in the past 4 years.
We escaped the bleach festivities by going shopping, and when we came back, the house was newly whitened. She actually did do a good job, and only missed a few spots. When we came back, the smell was enough to knock you over. Even the pigeons in the area were albinos.